stay gold

so today after hanging out in my small room with six good friends of mine i came to a conclusion that made everyone giggle out loud. "it wouldn't be my life if it weren't strung together at the last minute" an original response to being asked if I had packed for germany yet. i hope being this way doesn't destroy me and my future. everything tends to work out for the best. I'm a firm believer in fate.

it also never fails to surprise me how many people love golden girls besides me. I watch it because it's an amazing show that relieves my stress and anxiety by making me laugh hysterically. I don't really expect others to love it since all of my friends make fun of me and all religiously hate the show. Then I am surprised when i stumble across someone else who loves it with the same passion as me. Found this pic and was completely in awe with whoever would get this tattooed. yey for them!!!

Moving On

wow so i realized it has been quite awhile since i updated my blog. sorry about that I have had a busy semester and honestly its not on the top of my to do list. i know this has truly upset all of my many many followers. hah. so today was a happy holiday for most I'm sure. I didn't really get to celebrate too much. I went to class and helped my friend with a project. I did however get to watch two great movies- rock n rolla and pirate radio. both excellent films neither let me down. I also just modeled in a fashion show two days ago. It was put on by my retailing class (contemporary trends in fashion). I didn't really get to put much work into the actual fashion show because of the group i was put in, so i volunteered to model in order to participate more. In case you don't know me too well, I am a very nervous and anxious person so this was a huge personal accomplishment for me. Even though I'm shy when it comes to performing in front of others, all I have ever wanted out of life is to be a model. It has been my dream and sole career choice that I never talk about and have had no idea how to pursue. So if anyone ever reads this holla at me if you have any connects. Here is a pic from right before I went on at the fashion show. I'm the second from the left.

The best part about the show was definitely getting my hair and makeup done. The Paul Mitchell school sent students to come help us for free. It was so generous and amazing. A girl named Nikki did my hair and makeup. I wish I knew her last name so that I could give her mad props but at least I can tell you it's Nikki from the Paul Mitchell School in Columbia. She was definitely one talented lady. peace out

troy

so right now i'm feeling a little nauseous but hey i did it to myself ... no one else to blame.. i'm super bored watching troy.. i have never found brad pitt sexy. I know every woman must be in shock right now but i'm being serious. I just never thought him to be cute .. too much for me not the boy next door. But in troy he is so fucking hot just saying. mmm

injured animals being preciousheads

Okay when Sophie, my adorable cockapoo, broke her leg in two places, I was obsessed with how cute she looked when donning that amazing cast. Then my friend sent me a link to a website called animalswithcasts.com. They have every animal you could think of sporting there unique casts. Each one tells a different story the injury they dealt with. My personal favorite is the sloth. So freaking adorable. I really want to upload a picture of sophie. I probably will soon since I have an adorable one of her on my mom's boat. Seriously though, if you look up this website be prepared. The images will make you tear up and they will melt your heart. Everyone single one will make you say a different ohhh or ahhh. Well I just wanted to show someone who might be interested... hope someone out there is... peace

Fairytale Love

"the cats across the roof mad in love scream into drainpipes as i am ready ready to live never tired never sad never guilty" that's one of my favorite quotes of all time by bob dylan.. it's in the movie I'm Not There about the life of bob dylan. Its the opening to the scene where heath ledger and charlotte gainsbourg first make love to the song by bob dylan "I want you". Which by the way is an amazing song. Everything he writes is literally golden. I sometimes feel jaded and think that I will never know what love is. My friend the other day asked if I have ever loved one of the many boys that showed me affection. In fact I have actually only really loved one person and together we had everything. Being young adults and trying to maintain that love in a generation when love is the last thing on everyones mind though is extremely difficult. We gave it all we had yet it wasn't enough. All I want in life is to one day find the person that I can share my life with and be completely committed to. Have someone love me with their whole heart and literally be taken with me in every way possible. Watching romantic comedies usually bring me to tears. Even though I act tough like I don't need anyone else to be happy it would be nice to have someone completely infatuated with me that I actually want to be with as well. I want to have the feeling that I cannot live without this one person and have them with me forever. After giving your feelings to someone and having them completely ripped to shreds its hard to believe that it could actually happen and end well. Especially when you have had multiple relationships and none have worked. Yes this is what every human faces in their youth trying to find their "soulmate". It wears you down and eventually you may begin to feel like it will never happen to you and that's what I mean by jaded. Sure I feel this way alot but somewhere deep inside of me there is this little light of hope. It's hidden far away and i'm not sure if I can even find it by myself. But this sheer ounce of hope gives me the strength to believe that one day I will meet the man who can make me feel all of the feelings I've been dying my whole life to feel. The only other thing that dampens this hope is the feeling that maybe I put too much into it. I expect more than love actually is. I'm terrified that my ideas of love is just a fairytale that I have dreamt up in my head. Hollywood had inspired me to create this false reality of what love and relationships really are. Maybe they aren't all they are cracked up to be and its really just about being compatible with a person enough that you can put up with them for say fifty years. I mean do you really need to be in love with someone to marry them? Can you just be friends with them and be able to make decisions together? That way you can live a life and have fun with someone and compromise to raise children and manage a household. From most of the successful married couples that I have spoken to this is usually what they tell me it is actually all about. But I don't want that. If I can't find someone who gives me butterflies and makes me giddy then I don't want to have anything less. I would rather be alone with a whole bunch of cats and a career. I want the fairytale. Besides I couldn't have a sexual relationship with someone who was just my friend. I would need to want to jump their bones. hah. Seriously though, I want everything I feel I deserve. Nothing less. I want to someone to listen to a bob dylan song and say wow this is how I feel about Lauren. Actually let them go ahead and write a song about me themselves. No stealing Dylan's creativeness, come up with their own. I want to be one of those cats across the roof mad in love. MAD IN LOVE ya hear? peace xoxo

self fulfillment

I used to be annoyed that other kids that went to school with me got everything they wanted, and I had to work to get things. All I wanted was a brand new toyota 4runner in high school. Other parents bought their teens brand new cars. I however got a job and bought a used Honda Civic. Which by the way is the car I despise the most. Not only did I pay for the car but I paid the insurance and the gas for it. It wasn't that my mom couldn't buy me a car, just the fact that she thought I needed to learn responsibility. This was the usual for my family. I had to learn the value of things and how to appreciate them. I also did my own chores around the house and wasn't rewarded for making good grades. It was an expectation. I also got myself into college and am now responsible for making sure I go and that it's paid for. Yes my mom pays for my schooling, but i'm responsible for making sure I get the money there on time and that all my bills are covered. I used to find all of this a hassle. Now I respect the fact that I have accomplished all of this. I feel that being responsible for my actions has caused me to become a more independent human being. Not only that, but I have much better communication skills with adults and I am prepared for the real world. I have been employed since I was fifteen years old. One of these jobs I have held for four years. That is pretty impressive if you ask me. I was looking at new cars the other day and this girl who has never even had a job and is living in the house her parents bought her to live in just while in college bitched that i did nothing to deserve this new car. She thought I didn't deserve it because she only got a new car because she was graduating college. HELLO BITCH i am paying for this new car thats how I am getting it. My mom isn't just dangling the keys in front of me and spoiling me. It probably isn't going to be brand new either. I have worked and saved for this possession. How dare you say I don't deserve it. You don't deserve half of the things you get. My mom doesn't put an allowance in my bank account every week for me to live off of. Don't get me wrong, there are people who invest more in themselves then I do. There are some who pay for everything they have and even pay for their own school. And I completely respect that. But I am proud of myself for everything I have accomplished. I also intend to continue with this process and work hard my whole life so that I can provide nice things for myself and others. So I guess my point is that people who are spoiled their whole lives end up being selfish people who bring nothing to the table. My mom had the right idea when raising me and I appreciate everything she has done and helped me do. I'm about to go i've got to get up early for class in the morning. peace.

3 Raves for ya baby

It just occurred to me that my last few posts have been slightly negative. Even though I had no intentions of making them negative, they come across that way. I would hate to have people thinking of me as a negative nancy. I am a very upbeat positive happy person. It just is easier sometimes to go on a rant then to rave about something. This theory is proven over and over again. Like in restaurants people are more likely to complain about service than to constantly compliment there server. In fact most people will complain before they compliment. Don't get me wrong though. When I love something, it is very easy to go on and on about how amazing it is. For example, BOB DYLAN. He is by far the most talented songwriter ever, dead or alive. Sure his voice isn't the most appealing to everyone, but there is at least one song that everyone can relate to. No matter who you are, you can enjoy at least one of Dylan's songs. And because so many people have recorded his material, it is also possible to find one in a different genre that fits your own style. Another thing i could rave about is orange juice. Orange juice is the tastiest vitamin packed drink. Sure you could drink a V8 but that doesn't compare to the refreshing taste of OJ. It refreshes you after a long workout or when your hot. It goes along great with every breakfast food and even alcoholic beverages. It's nutritious and yet very delicious. One more rave for the day is pets. I know that seems very broad however I just love all sorts of pets and animals. I have a puppy sophie and she is a two year old cockapoo. She is my joy and my everything. When I see her cute little face and those adorable big eyes my heart melts. That sounds so cliche but it is absolutely true. She is the light of my life. She cuddles with me all day long and is always so excited to see me. (except when I came home from the bahamas and she was trying to get even with me for leaving her) Now you may be wondering why I chose to say pets instead of just my own. well here is the reason. I love everyones dogs be it my friends, neighbors, or random ones walking down the street. If i could I would have a extra large king size bed full of cuddly animals, kittens and puppies, and bunnies etc all laying around and cuddling with me so that i could scoop them up in my arms and give them all love and hugs and kisses. This is probably the reason why when I am older and more accomplished, I want to open my own animal shelter. I have no desire to be a vet or groomer but rescuing animals would be a dream come true to me. Once I have more money and maybe am retired I will dedicate my time and money to helping animals. Well I'm gonna go chill and watch the real world and pet on my friends dog Roxy. PEACE xoxo